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Still, sometimes a girl's got to go to the naughty places to get that PVC skirt or leather paddle, and it's noticeable that some sex shops are a lot more female-friendly than others. SM doesn't have to be expensive." Indeed, when a curious friend and I got up the courage to go to our first play party, we kept costs down by putting together our outfits from thrift stores. As Teramis, one of Margot Weiss's interviewees pointed out, "a tone of voice and a hand is more than sufficient for a scene that can last for days, and clothespins from the laundry bag. However, a small budget can stimulate a big imagination. The costly nature of quality kink products does leave the community open to accusations of classism, as "if you wanted to be part of the fetish community, it would be extremely difficult to do without money"-leaving those without a large disposable income priced out of the market. A nice latex jacket from The Stockroom will set you back $395, but as I was doing an unpaid internship at the time, I had to leave their quality products on their shiny black shelves. I realized how truly expensive BDSM can get when, during a stay in LA, a friend took me to The Stockroom, a high-end BDSM-themed "sexcessory" store. Seasoned kinksters may sneer at the mainstream commercial products sold by the likes of Ann Summers, which are admittedly not going to be as high quality as the handcrafted bullwhips you might buy from independent retailers.
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There are no shameful blacked-out windows or buzzer-operated doors, and the staff are female and friendly. Few British women are since Ann Summers brought whips, lingerie, and vibrators into the UK mainstream, and this woman-friendly chain of "erotic boutiques" can be found on most British high streets. I'm no wide-eyed newbie when it comes to visiting sex shops, sex toy stores, or adult stores. And so I found myself doing a trans-Atlantic tour of sex shops (ahem, sort of). But as any good writer knows, sometimes you've got to get out on the streets and do some actual legwork. "I have thousands of dollars worth of toys, and I still don't have everything I want." Estrella, interviewed in Margot Weiss' Techniques of Pleasure.Īs soon as Bitch gave me the go-ahead for this blog series, I went into overdrive getting together books, DVDs, articles, and interviews for research into the culture surrounding BDSM.